suburban single mom buys a house?

not sure if it's the right idea. can i even get anything that is worth the time, trouble and investment? lena would like to know she has a permanent home, at some point even if she doesn't *get* it now. living in rentals is the only thing i have ever known. even my childhood home was a rental, abiet a place my dad still lives in. 

if i buy the house, am i an adult now? Does this mean i can never go back? do i want to go back? i had a good run as a wannabe-hippie-freestyler. I used to joke i was never a good hippie because i was too organized and clean. but now? single mom. i live in a neighborhood called "The Lakes". Weird because it reminds me of a place in the desert near Vegas. Also called the Lakes. I thought how weird that they made man-made lakes and built houses around it. and now i find myself living in a place exaclty like that. alhtough we have trees that are not yucca and joshua. 

Lena deserves a home. I deserve a home. I am scared to spend so much on anything. it's huge!