Attention getting

As a single mom, sometimes i get down on myself about how i do things. I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off of. I don't have anyone being objective or at least offering counter ideas to be my balance.

My daughter is very smart. She has great social skills. Her attention span is a little shorter than i would care for. But i am not sure if it is a problem or just that she isn't quite five yet. It's hard for me to know when --or if-- she is paying attention to me, unless i get right down into her face and look her in the eye. I try toi get her to repeat back to me things, if it is important. But still, I wonder.

I am hoping to get her into Junior Kindergarten in January. I worry she will not be able to keep attention long enough to get her skills up for kindergarten. She has a hard time holding a pencil--I know she knows *how* but, it's that she doesn't *want* to most of the time.

I wonder if other single parents have these kinds of worries? I don't have anyone to talk it over with, so I don't know how to judge if I am overreacting or what.

While doing it alone is hard, I wouldn't change anything. While doing it alone can feel lonely sometimes, I love being with my daughter and getting all her attention. Now if i can just figure out how to get her to hold a pencil for more than about ten seconds!

professional, suburban, single mom.

who am i?

during the day -i work 9-5. i raise money for a nonprofit which serves families. I am not a good manager, but am good at what i do otherwise. at night i raise a girl. i get to go home be a mom to a gorgeous little girl who is clever and cute AND demanding. i live in what i think can be termed as a bedroom community. how did i become this woman?

i grew up relatively poor. went to college and found... activism not God. i traveled the country in my little two door Subaru and occasionally protested evil corporations doing nasty things to our environment or waging war on people half way around the world. i fell in love with the desert. i found a family on the road. i found my religion. peace and social justice. i lived this for several years.

then i landed in Berkeley and decided to go back to school. worked in a little bookstore. got in touch with my bibliophile-self. got my masters. got a good, professional job and then lost it in a fight over stewardship of the nonprofit i had worked in for nearly three years.

went back on the road and found myself isolated and needy. not a great place to be. fell in love? fell out of love...or fell victim to it and then overcame it.

during this recovery i found myself doing things i probably shouldn't have been doing, but never-the-less received the best and most blessed gift anyone could receive. did i find God? maybe. gave birth to my girl in 2005.

have been riding a roller coaster ever since.... the best adrenaline rush there is--being a parent. now. back at being a professional but am also raising up a girl to be the best person she can be.

went from living in a car to living in a 2br/1ba house in suburbia.

who am i?i never know from one year to the next. for now i am a mom. i am a professional. i am being responsible. i hope. how did i become this woman? through each and every single experience i have had: the projects, college, the road, my friends, my family, my jobs, my work... my child.

loving each minute.