balance.

sometimes when i get very stressed, i start thinking too much. life never gets easier, does it? it just keeps going until it ends. what you make of each day is what matters.

this week: i have been fighting with my computer. i have a couple of sleepless nights. i have fought with my 3 and a half year old daughter--like anyone wins in that situation. i have become increasingly more stressed out by simple day-to-day absolutely average issues that aren't even worth mentioning.

on the flip side. i re-connected with an old friend, with whom i haven't talked to in over a year. i have decided to pursue health with determiniation. and i have decided to let something go, that i was never committed to from the begining. each has it own particularly pleasurable aspects.

balance has never been my easiest goal. i have to work for it and it is not easy. makes me wonder if it's easy for anyone -- or i am particularly balance-challenged. when one things gets me down, it's like an avalanch, and it i am not careful i get buried. if something is really great, i'll forget about everything else that is good... it overshadows.

i used to avidly think and strive for tao in my life. it used to be a lense through which i tried to judge myself. somehow over the past few years i have forgotten it.

balance is hard. stress is frustrating. happieness is elusive evenif it's right there. love is work.